I find myself thinking back on that magical night, somewhere in some rural town in South Korea, where the sky was ablaze with millions of stars. The brightest I have ever seen, and I will never forget. Just one of the few memories that make me feel like I could pack up my bags, leave the city, and not regret it.

  It was unexpected, I would say almost like a fling, and I'm still coming to terms with it. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and boy you are 2901.43 miles away literally. Yet, I still find myself looking back, time and again, on my favourite parts of you, and wanting to continue exploring all the deepest intimacies of your soul.

  
  Oh well, that was just the dramatic side of me speaking. But I really do miss Seoul <3 

  If I had to describe it, Seoul really isn't the kind of glamorous city that you fall in love at first sight with, but it grows on you. I mean come on, let's face it - it isn't New York, the kind of city that people lyricise about in songs. I was almost hesitant in accepting the offer of spending six months in a city I had never been to before, and had generally not left me with any kind of impression. More than ever, I felt that I was more undeserving of a spot there because unlike so many others, I was hardly attuned to all the fad that was kpop. Seoul definitely didn't have the rustic charms of most European cities, or the glitzy faces of American ones, and all it had to offer to me was something foreign and fresh, something that I had really needed at that point of decision-making in my life. Naturally, I was offered a whole lot of other things by the time I was done with Korea. 

  At the end of it all, I figured what I took out of Seoul was very different from most of the countries I've toured in. Maybe it's because I grow attached to things/places/people I spend more than a few months with. It wasn't the usual architecture, or the scenery and sights that impressed me, but more of the entire undiscovered vibrancy of the city. I'm a sucker for people-watching, and the Seoulites (yes, that's what they're called) really paint such a beautiful canvas. As I attempt to reconnect with the remnants of my Korean life, I have started to watch kpop videos (kill me now) on YouTube recently. And I realise, as I recall, that there really was so much talent brimming from the edges of the streets, that it turns into a really enjoyable discovery of expression, and sheer beauty. And its not really the in-your-face kind of showy spectacles that Americans tend to hype over (not considering all the marketing the kpop industry does), but the kind of acts that you need to really dig and look for to find. Then there's also the thing for laidback (read: LEPAK) people such as me, in which it's also about having lots of small cosy places to chill out in without simply zoning out, but instead simultaneously absorbing the pulsating life of the city. There's really just so much to do, I don't think I could ever finish combing the multifarious activities that the city offers. Considering the phase of life I am in, Seoul seems to fit like a glove, and I really feel like I could be forever 21 in a place like that. 

  On to the more mundane stuff, I never thought that I would miss some of the things that I did there. It's true, that they say it's the smallest things that count. The weekend trips to our favourite haunts, the daily decision-making on what we should have for our meals (trust me, it was really tough, we never got sick of the food). Somehow, even the everyday stuff feels like a different experience while in Seoul, it almost feels like something new is uncovered everyday.

  Now I feel kind of sad that don't appreciate Singapore as much anymore. Yes, we're so developed and everything, but with a size like this, it seems like there will always be a lack of soul in our city. And by soul I mean places with different levels of energy that can evoke a full-blown range of emotions. We just lack that variety. Not even blaming the rigours of our system yet, haha. Which is why I feel Singapore will always be a city for 30/40-somethings, right? The familiarity and security of Home that we will yearn and crave for. But as a 20-something, all I really feel is bored in Singapore, and I need just a piece of Seoul's enticingly glittery urban fabric.
  

  “Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.” 
  

Really, I never believed in the idea of soul mates - how two people can be so perfect for each other, always thought it was a matter of getting used to, getting comfortable with each other. There are just some people you can do that with you know? So sometimes it comes down to a situation of what-happens-now? What happens when someone is really great for you, but you can never be good enough? Is it still true love even if it's one-way? It goes even beyond the theory of the reacher and the settler, because in that case, at least the other is willing to 'settle'. But what happens when the two ends are really opposing - one can love as much as the other hates? I think it's a really, really sad love story.

Sidenote: Loved the previous episode of How I Met Your Mother, perfect example of waiting 5 years to realise that someone you thought was The One, but you end up not being Her One. hahaha I guess it's all a matter of perception, and letting go, because Ted did find someone else in the end ;)

haha instead of studying, i've moved. tell me if you wanna read my heart still :) bye!

<3 starbucks 3 minutes away. i studied there today for about an hour and a half. but i managed to cover 2 lectures for PF. ok fine, it was basically physics i learnt before, but it's a goddamn start :) sigh, uni is crazy. not fit for it, so many scary people. mugging STAYOVERS wtf?!?! in cj i only knew of night study cos there were lovely suppers for us. hahahha hahhahah hahaha, damn nice lah. miss all the donuts, SOON KUEH, stawbellies, grapes, MILO. hahaha at like 845 we will prepare to chiong out from the library for the food. at least there was motivation to study. oh, not to forget, there's still another submission next week zzzzzzz. and i thought it was time to concentrate on other modules. i totally didnt know when my birthday is, or remember it this year until like a few days ago, just shows how busy i've been. oh well, december is coming! :) the christmas deco along orchard road this year is rather arrrrglyyyy though. or maybe it's just not all done up yet.

feel like changing blog and moving to somewhere more private. but damn lazy, as always. anyway, school is damn scary. the atmosphere is forever so tense. submission was just yesterday and today while i'm still in the celebratory-relaxation mood, people are already studying furiously for pf!!!!!!!! take a chill pill, have a kit kat, sit back and RELAX. haha, siao liao. anyway, talking about submission, my portfolio is shit. cos i was rushing, and the stupid scalebar didnt transfer my scans (!!!wtf and by the time i realised it closed for the day), so i had to take photos of a few of my drawings. and since i stupidly carelessly forgot to bring my sd card, or my cable. had to borrow joel's dslr, which is so hard to use cos i'm a noob at photography and dont know how to focus properly, and then he had to go, so he lent me a card reader which could not be read. and so i was left with lousy photos which i cannot retake cos i have no means of transferring ANY pictures to my laptop in studio, and thus i ended up with pictures in which my plan cant even be seen. but NEVERMIND, it's over. and i went for kenya hara's seminar yesterday, which was disappointing. i guess that's what you get when you pay 30dollars for an otherwise 300dollar seminar. really lorh, bento sets for breakfast, lunch, and tea (i was so excited for the bento sets can!!) turned out to be some catered food which was pathetic. it wasnt even remotely japanese. and i fell asleep for the lectures in the middle, but was wide awake for the emptiness one, which by the way CAN BE FOUND ONLINE. so what's the point. q&a was interesting though, but of course nus students always just keep quiet and let other people ask the questions. DOORGIFT sounded promising too, i expected an ornament of sorts but it turned out to be a muji file with paper to take notes with. not too bad i guess, the pen is nice to write with, cheapskate HAHA. and since all these seminars come with fangirl moments, i now have an autographed copy of designing design. and a photo with the man himself probably floating somewhere on facebook cyberspace. anyway, he had this translator during the q&a, whom i thought was damn cooooool. ok, i think all translators in general are cool, like how do they take down all the info so fast, and then process what they took down and translate it on the spot. damn cool lah, and you get to meet all the famous celebrities and stuff. sigh, anyway one of the highlights was that i got to try the beancurd tart! i think it's nicer than egg tart. i'm so sick of egg tart, but beancurd tarts have this texture to it that is so soft when you put it in your mouth. nice nice, i like. anyway we went to explore haji lane (nice nice also! love the shophouses), and then since i was craving wanton mee so bad, we went to banquet to eat. bad choice, the wanton mee was so spicy i didnt finish it. and then we went back to sheares, wanted to watch devil wears prada, but since it's ahem purple disc instead of gold disc, cannot load on the mac noobook. we ended up watching retarded videos on youtube (our favourite pasttime) and scary ghost ones too. i was so scared to even go to the toilet on my own!! and then after killing time, we finally went to eat our SHEARES CHICKEN!! damn nice, i like. the skin especially. they just kept peeling the skin and fats for me, haha i swear i really felt my arteries clog up after the meal. the chrysanthemum also damn nice. make me feel like staying in sheares for the supper. yah then we went back to watch project runway. omg got singaporean model. sigh they all have nice nice legs. yah and we were all so sleepy after a long long day (and eating the sheares chicken) we fell asleep, and i was too lazy/scared to walk over to kr to crash at cheongy's. haha woke up the next day for lecture re-screening at 9. quite convenient ah, damn fast can get to school. and then we spent damn long deciding what to do after that cos we didnt wanna study, we finally settled on 2012. i went to town (damn long never go somerset lahhh) in my fbts and shirt -_- lugging my heavy bag. butttttttt i got to eat frolick :) and see pretty girl working there. hahaha. my palms were freaking sweating watching 2012 lah omg. and doing what we do best, we sat down after the movie to continue talking before we went home for dinner. i saw the cutest crying baby today. usually crying kids are annoying, but this one was actually cute. shows how cute she really is. hahaha, seriously. even the chloe i used to teach wasnt cute when she was crying. ok damn a lot of words.


that's actually our very cool tutor with us at timbre. he kept asking us to drink more, and he has the coolest VINTAGE vw beetle that he drives.


haha ok no more cos i cant seem to find my sd card.

here's one of the retarded videos for you though!


yay! my entry is more colourful now. haha i'm trying to stretch this day before i start studying tmr.

Ten days of perfect tunes
The colors red and blue
We had a promise made
We were in love

sigh. was thinking of so many things. training in the stuffy sji gym while the radio plays in the background and we start jumping on the tramp to 'Stop and Stare'. then packing our stuff and chasing the 156 together and squeezing inside with the rgym girls and all their bulky hoops. dinner at j8 before walking down to stadium, screaming while j-walking, then walking up that stupid hill dreading training and all the exhaustion that comes with it. at the end of it all, we're always the last to finish, still doing our conditioning when all the lights go off. when we finally pack up and leave before the doors all lock, on days when miss teo isn't on duty, i'll take the 156 with perry home and he'll do retarded stuff at the bus stop. on days when miss teo is on duty, we will follow her down the hill and we will cab together. and all our good luck gifts to each other :)

staying back in class to do work, or simply just to play cards. haha all the retarded times i used to run for assembly while mr lim made that retarded bell sound. colouring our notes, writing stupid things and thousands of smilie faces on each other's papers. rushing for break and eating noodle king jia mian, or western southern fried add omelette, or both. or even pw, which was just talking cock sessions for our group. and watching movies, since we chose movies as our topic. haha. retreats and camps, when we would go to the pac to talk even after lights out. 

life isn't like that now. everyone is walking their own path, leading their own lives. 

 i cant believe i'm still sick. :O yesterday i was freezing in the library, i was shivering and my fingers turned blue. and i was already wearing a sweater. then i met up with gabriel and i had to borrow his jacket, so i was wearing 2 jackets in ion. wanted to go muji, but my head was aching like shit. i wanted to send him off to brunei but i couldnt take it so we drove home and my mom sent him to the airport instead. haha silly boy couldnt get to sit sia, for like probably only the 2nd time in his life?!?! yah then i slept at 8 o clock. slept for practically 24 hours. aside from going to the docs in the morning and during my meals. since i'm quite wide awake, i shall go watch my tv showssss.